Real Advice. Real Life.

Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.

Category: Parenting

  • On Seminary Success

    I wish I did as well in Algebra as I do in church! The 14 y.o.

  • On Puking in the Car

    The 7 y.o.: I don’t feel very good. My tummy is upset. I think I need a bucket. The 11 y.o.: We’re in a car. Don’t vomit inside the car!…

  • On Breakfast in Bed

    The Dad: Since it’s a holiday weekend, I’m going to bring everyone breakfast in bed.  The Mom: What’re you cooking? The Dad: I’m getting it from the diner. So you…

  • On Tacos

    The Mom: I had fish tacos for lunch. They were delicious! The 10 y.o.: Were they soft shell or deep-fried? The Mom: Soft. It was a freshly made tortilla. The…

  • On Fish

    The 14 y.o.: I’ve never seen so many fish restaurants in one place in my life! I wonder why fish is so big in Wisconsin. The 6 y.o.: Well, the…

  • On Mommy Meltdowns

    The Mom: Could ONE of you three just get on with stacking the dishwasher after dinner? Dad and I make the money, buy the food, and cook your dinner every…

  • On Homework

    The Dad: Sigh… It says something when I can’t help you with your math homework. The 10 y.o.: What can I say? I am very intelligent.  

  • On Rhyming

    The Mom: The Five Guys is inside the mall just down the road. The 14 y.o.: What’s the name of the mall? The Mom: It’s called the Brookfield Galleria. The…

  • On Doctor Who’s On First?

    The 10 y.o.: Whatcha watchin’? The 6 y.o.: The Doctor. The 10 y.o.: Doctor Who? The 6 y.o.: Yep. Shhhh! The 10 y.o.: Doctor WHO? The 6 y.o.: YES! That’s…

  • On Traditional Media

    The 6 y.o.: Dad? Why is the car talking to me while I was waiting for you to get in? The Dad: It’s called the radio. I have it on…

Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.