Real Advice. Real Life.
Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.
The 11 y.o.: Whatcha doin’ Mom? What’s that thing? The Mom: It’s called a filing cabinet. It’s where I keep the important school papers and file them away. The 11 y.o.:…
The 11 yo: Is this corn the 94% or the 6%? The Mom: The what? The 11 yo: Modified. GMO’s. Which is it? The Mom: It’s corn. Eat it. The…
The Mom: It’s a necklace I got as an early mother’s day gift. The 7 y.o.: Big C is in copper, M is gold and my name is on the…
“I don’t want to go to school today. I’m just saying. And that’s not complaining ’cause it’s a fact, right?” The 7 yo
The 11 y.o.: Dad? What’s in the plastic cup you put on the island? The Dad: Don’t drink it! It’s a little bit of water with dish soap and…
The 14 y.o.: Dopey is the cutest dwarf. He’s so sweet. The 11 y.o.: But he’s not exactly the brightest bulb in the chandelier, is he?
The 14 y.o.: I just saw some boys in the neighborhood with little beanie hats on their heads. What’s up with that? The Dad: They are probably Jewish and those…
Our kitchen island is the biggest chunk of granite I’ve ever seen. It’s so huge, it ought to be called a ‘sub-continent’ instead of an island. The 14 y.o. {in…
The 14 y.o: LOOK! It’s a Mormon missionary! By himself. That doesn’t happen very often. The 11 y.o.: They always travel in pairs. Where’s his companion? The 14 y.o.: I…
Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.