Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.

Category: Parenting

  • On Filing Cabinets

    The 11 y.o.: Whatcha doin’ Mom? What’s that thing? The Mom: It’s called a filing cabinet. It’s where I keep the important school papers and file them away.  The 11 y.o.:…


  • On Captain Obvious

    The 11 yo: Is this corn the 94% or the 6%? The Mom: The what? The 11 yo: Modified. GMO’s. Which is it? The Mom: It’s corn. Eat it. The…


  • On Apples Falling Near Trees

    The Mom: It’s a necklace I got as an early mother’s day gift. The 7 y.o.: Big C is in copper, M is gold and my name is on the…


  • On Facts vs Complaints

    “I don’t want to go to school today. I’m just saying. And that’s not complaining ’cause it’s a fact, right?” The 7 yo


  • On Busting Old Wives’ Tales

      The 11 y.o.: Dad? What’s in the plastic cup you put on the island? The Dad: Don’t drink it! It’s a little bit of water with dish soap and…


  • On Disney Characters

    The 14 y.o.: Dopey is the cutest dwarf. He’s so sweet. The 11 y.o.: But he’s not exactly the brightest bulb in the chandelier, is he?


  • On Jewish Boys

    The 14 y.o.: I just saw some boys in the neighborhood with little beanie hats on their heads. What’s up with that? The Dad: They are probably Jewish and those…


  • Our kitchen isl…

    Our kitchen island is the biggest chunk of granite I’ve ever seen. It’s so huge, it ought to be called a ‘sub-continent’ instead of an island. The 14 y.o. {in…


  • On Mistaken Missionaries

    The 14 y.o: LOOK! It’s a Mormon missionary! By himself. That doesn’t happen very often. The 11 y.o.: They always travel in pairs. Where’s his companion? The 14 y.o.: I…


  • On TV Shows

    The Mom: Whatcha watching? The 14 y.o.: Arrested Development. The 11 y.o.: Dogtown. The 7 y.o.: Dr Phil.  The Mom: Dr Phil? The 7 y.o.: Yeah. He’s talking to grown…


Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.