Real Advice. Real Life.

Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.

Category: Parenting

  • On Geek Girls and the Moms They Become

    The 16 y.o.: You do realize that the image I will always have of you is behind a laptop screen. It’s like your natural habitat. The Mom: What? Did you say…

  • On Middle School Day 1

    The Mom: I know it was a super tough day for you, but the thing is – you made it through. And I’m really impressed that you reached out for…

  • On Our Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

    “He either looks like an adorable dog food model OR he looks like he has just woken up from night of drinking, and hasn’t had his first cup of coffee.” –…

  • On Six Word Stories

    Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words (“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”). It is claimed to have been his best work. In the spirit of Hemingway, my…

  • On Judaism

    The Mom: Judaism is divided into at least 3 types. The Hasidic — The 16 y.o (interrupting): The acidic, the base and the neutrals.

  • On Career Ambitions

    The 9 y.o.: Well, you’ll be glad to know I’ve got a new career goal now. The Mom: Okay… The 9 y.o.: Do you remember what I wanted to be?…

  • On Reality TV

    The 12 y.o. (watching the Amazing Race): It’s painful to watch people who clearly have never been on a horse attempting to ride them. The Mom: Not everyone has had…

  • On Learning to Read

    I don’t actually remember learning how to read. It was something I just always knew how to do like breathing or sleeping. I distinctly remember reading Grimm’s Fairy Tales out…

  • On 3rd Grade Market Day

    It’s 3am and I’m taking a break from making clothespin bunnies for my 8 yo’s “Market Day” at school tomorrow. That I just learned about at 4pm this afternoon. My little Creative-Dictator-in-Training…

  • On Future Husband Research

    The Mom: Who’s mission call video are you watching? The 16 y.o: No idea. But he’s so cute! I think his name is Landon. Or Stockton. They’re twins. The Mom:…

Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.