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Real Advice. Real Life.
Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.
The Mom: Lil C can decorate on one side of the Gingerbread House and M can do the other side. Try to agree a pattern for the candy so it…
The 5 y.o.: What’s 2 + a pickle? The 9 y.o.: What?! 2 pickles? The 5 y.o.: Nope. What’s 1 + bacon? The 9 y.o.: I give up. What is…
The 5 y.o.: I’ve had enough of football. Let’s watch that Santa Wipeout that was just on TV. That looked cool. The 9 y.o.: We can’t. It was an ad…
The 5 y.o.: I have to make up a timeline about my life for school this week. All the big events that have happened since I was born. The 9…
The 13 y.o.: Well, what are you going to give me to NOT tell my little sisters what you got them for Christmas? The Mom: (throws a bag of chocolate…
The 5 y.o.: What does reverse mean? The 9 y.o.: Backwards. The 5 y.o. But what if you’re spinning in a circle? How do you reverse? The 9 y.o.: You…
The 5 y.o.: Daddy, I know you found my blue fish this morning, but I lost it again. Can you find it for me and put it on the table…
I made a turkey at school today. He has colorful feathers. And eyelashes! I’m going to call him Bob. Or Percival. Percy the turkey. I like that. The 5 y.o.
The Mom: Where is M? Is she outside? Or in her bedroom? The 5 y.o.: Ooooo! Pick me to go find her! I love to spy on M in her…
The Mom: What is the capital of Louisiana? The 9 y.o.: Baton Rouge. The 13 y.o.: Which is French for red….baton. I think it means stick. The 9 y.o.: Oh…
Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.
