Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.

Advice Archive

From the Blog

  • On Orwell {pt 2}

    The Mom: In 1984, what are the names of the 4 Ministries? Why do you think Orwell selected those particular names? The 13 y.o.: Truth, Love, Peace and Plenty. Whoa… Read more →

  • Lil C’s Letter to Santa {aged 5}

    Dear Santa, Since you got my order wrong last year, except for the dollhouse, I’m telling daddy to write this down for you so you don’t forget. Plus there’s a… Read more →

  • On Texting {pt ii}

    The 13 y.o.: Mom? Do you know where my sister is? The Mom: I haven’t seen either of them- Uh, a little advice. When you ask someone a question, look… Read more →

  • Baked Mushroom Risotto

    Ingredients 1 ounce bag dried porcini mushrooms (usually found next to the fresh mushrooms) 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter 2 bunches scallions (green onions), chopped 3 carrots, peeled and… Read more →

  • On Orwell {pt 1}

    The Mom: Let’s discuss this quote from Orwell’s 1984: “Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought?” What does this mean to… Read more →

  • On Cliches

    The Mom: Do you know what the cliche “two wrongs don’t make a right” means? For example, if Big C hit you and you hit her back. The 9 y.o.:… Read more →

  • That Santa at church last year was a fake. His costume smelled like peas and chicken. The REAL Santa would’ve smelled like warm chocolate chip cookies and milk. AND he… Read more →

  • On Slang {Then and Now}

    The 13 y.o.(while watching Speed Racer): Who names their kid “Sparky”? Did parents just hate their kids in the 50’s? The Mom: Says the spokesperson for her generation who have… Read more →

  • On Halloween Plans

    The 5 y.o.: Next year for Halloween, I’m going as euthanasia. The 9 y.o.: What is “youth in Asia”? The 5 y.o.: What? I SAID: I’m going as a pink… Read more →

  • On Schrodinger’s Cat

    The 13 y.o.: So, let me get this straight…according to Einstein, you put Schrodinger’s cat in a box with some unstable gun powder that has 50-percent likelihood of blowing up… Read more →

Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.