Real Advice. Real Life.

Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.

Category: Parenting

  • Can daddy put an intercom into the wall next to my bed? I just wanna push a button and tell him I’m ready for my breakfast. You know, like at…

  • Teepees must’ve been like trailer parks for Indians. The 11 y.o.

  • That’s not dirt, mommy – I’m getting…FRECKLES! I look like my big sis. What’s next? Pimples? The 4 y.o. (after being sent to wash her face)

  • Good morning Mommy & Daddy! You are the BEST parents in the world. And I love you. The first thing the 4 y.o. said when we woke her at 6.30…

  • C – you can have a watch when you weigh more than 7 o’clock! The 11 y.o at Target, explaining what time her 4 y.o. little sister can expect a watch.

  • Menu Plan for Week of 9/5/10 – 9/11/10

    Sunday Breakfast: Oatmeal, OJ Lunch: Peanut Butter Berrywich, Banana, Milk Dinner: Moroccan Lemon Chicken & Jasmine Rice; Minted Blueberries with Lemon Cream   Monday Breakfast: Cereal, Milk, banana Lunch: Turkey…

  • On Pluto and Planets

    The 11 y.o: Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune…Pluto. Oh, but Pluto isn’t really a planet anymore. The 4 y.o: But it looks like a planet. It’s round. And it’s got rocks.…

  • Daddy! I weigh 7 o’clock! The 4 y.o. standing on the bathroom scale

  • On Backpacks

    The Mom: I’m ordering your new backpack online. Do you want it monogrammed with your name or your initials? The 4 y.o: As long as it’s pink. With my name…

  • On Proverbs and Problems

    The Dad (to the 11 y.o): Your Sunday School Teacher sent over some Proverbs for you to learn The 4 y.o. (trying to copy): Your Sunday School Teacher sent over…

Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.