Real Advice. Real Life.

Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.

Category: Parenting

  • On Cleaning

    The 14 y.o.: I *like* to clean my room because I find all sorts of useful things. This time I found $20. The Dad: We like it when you clean…

  • On Evil People

    People with eye patches in cartoons are ALWAYS evil. Always. The 10 y.o.

  • On British Accents

    The Mom: Raspberries is one of the few words I still love to hear your dad say with his British accent. The Dad: What words don’t you like to hear…

  • Well there should be different kinds of testing for the different ways we think. Like taking the MEAP test today – instead of just answering boring questions in the scantron,…

  • On NWEA Testing

    The Mom: “So today is picture day and NWEA testing*” The 10 y.o.: “Yeah, we’ve been doing NWEA all week. I scored 245 on the Reading test yesterday. The last…

  • On Friendship

    The Mom: Can you please make sure your little sister sits next to you on the bus? She was asking me for gum to pay off some kid as part…

  • On Mommy’s Homework

    Well, *I* only have 1 sheet of math homework. And my Word Study. But I’ve got bad news for you, Mommy. Mrs J gave you 11 sheets of homework! The…

  • On Glaring

    I like glaring at people. It’s my natural state. The 6 y.o.

  • On Intelligence

    The 13 y.o.: Who is the most intelligent person you know? The 10 y.o.: Me. The 13 y.o.: (rolls her eyes) BESIDES you. The 10 y.o.: You. The 13 y.o.:…

  • On Michigan and LOTR

    You know Michigan is kind of like the Shire. People here are related to each other, they don’t like adventure and, well, they’re short and kinda chubby. And I’m thinking…

Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.