Real Advice. Real Life.

Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.

Category: Parenting

  • On Wise Men & Girls

    Daddy? You are wise. You could be a wise man. In fact, I’ve come to realize you are almost as wise as me. The 6 y.o.

  • On Tardiness

    The 10 y.o.: Signing into the office when you’re late to school is the worst thing. The Dad: It’s ok. I’ve got this. The School Secretary: Sooo. Running a bit…

  • On Special Occasions

    The Mom: That was a beautiful song to celebrate our anniversary! Did you make it up all by yourself? The 6 y.o.: Nah. It was the birthday song on Barbie’s…

  • On Car Crashes

    The 10 y.o.: You crashed into the car behind us. The Dad: I was pulling out slowly and we tapped. The 14 y.o.: You slammed the car into an old…

  • On Apple Maps

    The Mom: The worst part about Apple maps is that the woman’s voice sounds just like my mother. The 6 y.o. I wish she sounded like the hamster in the…

  • On Hurricanes

    I can’t believe that New York City has all that water in the streets! Those poor people. And it’s so dark. Hey – you know what they need? A wand…

  • On Violet

    The 6 y.o.: What color is violet? The 10 y.o.: Violet. The 6 y.o.: I mean what color is it? The 10 y.o.: It’s violet. That’s the color: violet. The…

  • On Elections

    I’ll just teach Aaron and Kylie about the Presidents of the United States so they can play Presidents vs Aliens while you have your piano lesson. I won’t even mention…

  • On Recess

    Mommy I hate recess. You don’t learn anything, you have to go outside where it’s loud, wet and boring and the playground is filled with boys acting crazy and wild.…

  • On Camp

    So I only had to clean up one time during all of 5th grade camp. The teachers started by saying that the shortest kids had to stay and do the…

Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.