Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.

On Ownership

The 12 y.o.: Daddy’s MINE.
The 4 y.o.: No. He’s MINE.
The 12 y.o.: He. Is. MINE.
The 4 y.o.: No. He’s mine. I farted on him.

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Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.