Real Advice. Real Life.

Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.

Category: Parenting

  • On Bacon Deliciousness

    Mmmm – what’s that deliciousness I smell this Sunday morning? Is it…BACON?!!! The 5 y.o.

  • On The Holy Ghost

    The 5 y.o.: Daddy? The holy ghost doesn’t have a body, right? The Dad: Yes, that’s right. The 5 y.o.: So he’s just a really, REALLY big head floating around…

  • On Siri

    The 13 y.o.: Beam me up, Siri Siri: Energizing… The 13 y.o.: I LOVE HER! Ok. Siri? Open the pod bay doors. Siri: I’m sorry, Big C, I cannot do…

  • On Cupcakes v Muffins

    The 5 y.o.: Mom? Your chocolate cupcakes are the best! Can I have another one? The 9 y.o.: Technically those ‘cupcakes’ are muffins. Cupcakes have frosting. Those do not. Therefore,…

  • On Squirreling the Chocolate

    Squirrel the chocolate into the batter? What the heck does that mean?!!! Oh, wait. It says “swirl the chocolate”. That makes more sense. The 13 y.o.

  • On Presidents-vs-Aliens

    The Mom: So what Presidential facts did you learn by playing Presidents -vs- Aliens? The 9 y.o.: I learned that Ronald Reagan is the BEST president for killing lots of…

  • “Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their…

  • On Genius Children

    The 9 y.o.: What’s the opposite of Lo? The Mom: High? The 9 y.o.: Nope. 70.

  • “I am the last leaf on the tree, and the wind is blowing.”  —Gordon B Hinckley

  • On Crosses and Christ

    Mommy? Why do other churches have a cross on them? Don’t those people know that Jesus is coming back one day and he will probably stay FAR away from places…

Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.