Real Advice. Real Life.

Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.

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On Dinglehoppers and Lobster Forks

The Mom (loudly opening and closing every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen): Does ANYONE know where the lobster forks are?

<silence>

The Mom (walks into media room with an epic Mario Cart race being played): HEY! DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE THE LOBSTER FORKS ARE HIDDEN?

The Dad (not looking up from his WiiU game pad): They are in the drawer. Up there. You know. With the oyster shucker. Um, next to the sushi mats. Oh. Hang on. I think those are the escargot tongs. What were you looking for again?

Lobster Dinglehopper

The Mom: A dinglehopper. Apparently in a magical drawer next to the banded, bulbous snarfblatt.

The 16 y.o. (channeling her inner ‘Little Mermaid’ by belting loudly in perfect pitch): What’s The Word? BURN!!!!!

 

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Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.