Real Advice. Real Life.

Straight-talk advice on marriage, parenting, work and the everyday crossroads of life. From a longtime wife, mom, and marketing VP who’s been there. Welcome.

If Heavenly Father Had Texted the 10 Commandments to Moses

  1. no1 b4 me. srsly.
  2. dnt wrshp pix/idols
  3. no omg’s
  4. no wrk on wkend (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
  5. pos ok – ur m&d r cool
  6. dnt kill ppl
  7. ;-X only w/m8
  8. dnt steal
  9. dnt lie re:bf
  10. dnt ogle ur bf’s m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

Translation:

  1. No one before me. Seriously.
  2. Don’t worship pictures or idols
  3. Use Goodness, eg. “Oh My Goodness” or “OMGness” (Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain)
  4. No working on the weekend — Saturday for now, Sunday later. (Keep Sabbath day holy)
  5. Parents Over Shoulder okay. Your Mom and Dad are cool. (Honor thy father and thy mother)
  6. Don’t kill people.
  7. Sex only with married mate (Husband or Wife)
  8. Don’t steal.
  9. Don’t lie regarding best friend. (Don’t bear false witness against neighbor)
  10. Don’t ogle your best friend’s spouse or posessions. Mind Your Own Business. (Don’t covet)

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Scarlett of Suburbia shares personal opinions and general life perspective for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not professional, medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice, and no columnist-reader relationship is created by reading this site or sending a message. For serious concerns, please consult a qualified professional. Submissions may be published, edited for length or clarity, and shared anonymously.