The Mom: PLEASE cover your mouth when you cough!

The 13 y.o.: Sorry.

The Mom: Just so we’re clear: you come into my bedroom, ate Oreos and drink milk that I fetched for you so you could remain in my warm bed, your abundant radiance attracted your dogs onto my bed, and now you are coughing, spewing germy droplets of love all over my bed. So could you at least cover your mouth when you cough!!!

The 13 y.o.: And now I’m asleep in your nice, warm bed. So I can’t hear you.