Dad – can I just say that you shouldn’t be allowed to bake eggs if I have to wash the dishes. It’s always gritty and gross. You never squirt soap or anything into the pan, so it’s utterly revolting when I have to clean it.

Ditto for anything you BBQ in the oven. WE LIVE IN AMERICA! Use the grill like everyone else.

And why is there a sticky note on the cabinet that says “Clean Me”? Are we in Alice in Wonderland? Or have we time warped like Dr Who into the Elizabithian era where one bathed so infrequently that they needed little sticky note reminders?

The 13 y.o.