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Scarlett of Suburbia

Field Notes from The Motherhood

Month

February 2015

On Vocabulary Lessons Courtesy of Kid Rock

The 8 y.o. enters the parents’ bedroom at 6am on a Saturday morning. The Mom has her Skullcandy earbuds in and listening to Spotify on her laptop as the 8 yo approaches the foot of her bed.

The 8 y.o.: Mommy? Mom? MOMMY!!!!

The Mom (visibly jumps as she’s woken up and removes an earbud): Yes?

The 8 y.o.: I knocked but no one said to come in, so I came in. And I’m hungry. And I have to go to the bathroom. And I can’t find anyone who’s awake. What music are you listening to?

The 8 y.o. (reaches for the orphaned earbud to put it in her ear. Listens hard for a second then removes the earbud): WOW! I thought it would be a musical or something. THAT is one very angry dude. (Looks at Spotify screen) ‘Kid Rock’? Seriously? For a ‘kid’, he sure knows an impressive amount of potty words!

IMG_3636

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On Cake

“You can’t have your cake and eat it too” is a dumb expression. It’s MY cake. Or in this case, my ‘cupcake’.

And look – as I’m eating it, I will reach for another cupcake and then I’ll have my cake AND I’ll eat it too!

-The 8 y.o.

cupcakes w sprinkles

On How to Mess with Substitutes

My 12 yo daughter had a substitute today.

Substitute: What’s your name?
Girl: Hannah.
Substitute: Hannah. Ok. Thanks. And you?
Girl: Emily.
Substitute: Hi Emily. And next to you? What’s your name?
My 12 y.o: Starlord.

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