Scarlett of Suburbia

Field Notes from The Motherhood


October 2014

3 days


On Dinglehoppers and Lobster Forks

The Mom (loudly opening and closing every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen): Does ANYONE know where the lobster forks are?


The Mom (walks into media room with an epic Mario Cart race being played): HEY! DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE THE LOBSTER FORKS ARE HIDDEN?

The Dad (not looking up from his WiiU game pad): They are in the drawer. Up there. You know. With the oyster shucker. Um, next to the sushi mats. Oh. Hang on. I think those are the escargot tongs. What were you looking for again?

Lobster Dinglehopper

The Mom: A dinglehopper. Apparently in a magical drawer next to the banded, bulbous snarfblatt.

The 16 y.o. (channeling her inner ‘Little Mermaid’ by belting loudly in perfect pitch): What’s The Word? BURN!!!!!


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