Scarlett of Suburbia

Field Notes from The Motherhood


September 2012

On NWEA Testing

The Mom: “So today is picture day and NWEA testing*”
The 10 y.o.: “Yeah, we’ve been doing NWEA all week. I scored 245 on the Reading test yesterday. The last question was a bit tricky. It asked about the etymology of the word “Light”. Then I remembered the Lumos spell that lights up Harry Potter’s wand comes from “Lumen”, which is obviously Latin…”

*An NWEA score of 245 is the 99th percentile for the last quarter of 6th grade. M is in the first quarter of 5th grade.


On Friendship

The Mom: Can you please make sure your little sister sits next to you on the bus? She was asking me for gum to pay off some kid as part of an extortion racket so she can sit in the back.
The 10 y.o.: No problem. I sit with Clare. She hates gum. And she’s nice. Even if she does like cats.

On Mommy’s Homework

Well, *I* only have 1 sheet of math homework. And my Word Study.

But I’ve got bad news for you, Mommy. Mrs J gave you 11 sheets of homework!

The 6 y.o.

On Glaring

I like glaring at people.
It’s my natural state.

The 6 y.o.

On Intelligence

The 13 y.o.: Who is the most intelligent person you know?
The 10 y.o.: Me.
The 13 y.o.: (rolls her eyes) BESIDES you.
The 10 y.o.: You.
The 13 y.o.: Me?
The 10 y.o.: Yeah. You. Or Mom.

On Michigan and LOTR

You know Michigan is kind of like the Shire. People here are related to each other, they don’t like adventure and, well, they’re short and kinda chubby. And I’m thinking Florida is Mordor since it is inhabited by old people who eerily resemble orcs and goblins…which makes grandma Sauron.

The 13 y.o.

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