Scarlett of Suburbia

Field Notes from The Motherhood


July 2012

On First World Problems

The 10 y.o.: MOM! You don’t have any soap in your bathroom so I can’t wash my hands. Got any anti-bacterial instead?
The Mom: What? I just replaced the soap a few days ago. It should be next to your Dad’s sink.
The 10 y.o.: Uh, nope. The only thing I see next to his sink is this large, white rectangle brick on a slightly larger glass tray. But no soap. Or anti-bacterial.
The Mom: That white rectangle IS the soap.
The 10 y.o.: You’re kidding! Really? Well, how do you operate it? Where’s the pump?


On the Opening Ceremonies

It would have been much cooler if the Queen had *actually* parachuted into the stadium and then introduced Greece as the tributes. You know – keepin it real with British wit and all.

The 13 y.o. who loves the Hunger Games a *little* too much

On The London Olympics

Watching the Opening Ceremony to the London Olympics with Kenneth Brannagh in top hat and tails), the 6 y.o. quips: ”I thought Abraham Lincoln was an American. What’s he doing in London? With a British accent?”

On Flavors

The 6 y.o.: What flavor Annie’s Fruit Treats do you want?
The 10 y.o.: Red
The 6 y.o.: Red is a color, NOT a flavor!
The 10 y.o.: Says the girl who considers ‘monkey’ to be a flavor.
The 6 y.o.: Well, if ‘turkey’ and ‘chicken’ can be flavors, so can ‘monkey’.

On Epic Battles Between Carpenters

You know how Jesus was a carpenter? And Pa Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie was also a carpenter, right? Who was the better carpenter? I think Jesus would win. You know…’cause of who his Father is and all {points upwards}

The 6 y.o.

On The Blues Brothers {Missionary Work}

The Mom: What would you say to someone who asks a question about our church?
The 6 y.o.: Hi. I’m a Mormon. I work for Jesus Christ. And I’m on a mission from God.

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