Scarlett of Suburbia

Field Notes from The Motherhood


April 2012

On Bacon Deliciousness

Mmmm – what’s that deliciousness I smell this Sunday morning? Is it…BACON?!!!

The 5 y.o.


On The Holy Ghost

The 5 y.o.: Daddy? The holy ghost doesn’t have a body, right?
The Dad: Yes, that’s right.
The 5 y.o.: So he’s just a really, REALLY big head floating around then?

On Siri

The 13 y.o.: Beam me up, Siri
Siri: Energizing…
The 13 y.o.: I LOVE HER! Ok. Siri? Open the pod bay doors.
Siri: I’m sorry, Big C, I cannot do that.
The 13 y.o.: Ok. How can you tell if she is a witch?
Siri: Why do ducks float?
The 13 y.o.: Siri? What is the meaning of life?
Siri: Give me some time to write a very long play in which nothing happens. Then I can answer your question.
The 13 y.o.: I LOVE YOU SIRI
Siri: That’s nice. Can we get back to work now?

On Cupcakes v Muffins

The 5 y.o.: Mom? Your chocolate cupcakes are the best! Can I have another one?
The 9 y.o.: Technically those ‘cupcakes’ are muffins. Cupcakes have frosting. Those do not. Therefore, they are chocolate muffins.

On Squirreling the Chocolate

Squirrel the chocolate into the batter? What the heck does that mean?!!!
Oh, wait. It says “swirl the chocolate”. That makes more sense.

The 13 y.o.

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