Scarlett of Suburbia

Field Notes from The Motherhood


September 2011

Wikipedia says, “I know everything.”
Google says, “I have everything.”
Facebook says, “I know everybody.”
The Internet says, ” Without me, you all would be nothing.”
Electricity says, “Uh huh. Just keep on talkin’ y’all

The 13 y.o.


On Emoticons

The Dad: It’s like digital aphasia when you speak through emoticons.
The 13 y.o.: What is an ’emoticon’
The Dad: One of those smiley faces you always put at the end of your texts.
The 13 y.o.: That’s just a piece of pixel. What are they emoting besides happiness? They should be called ‘smiley faces’.

On Baseball

The 9 y.o.: Tomorrow’s school spirit day, so I gotta dress up in blue and white like a Tiger.
The Mom: I thought your mascot was a Hornet? Shouldn’t it be yellow and black?
The 9 y.o.: No, my teacher said we were dressing in blue and white to support the Tigers.
The Mom: I don’t get it. Who are the Tigers?
The Dad: Uh, the Detroit Tigers? Baseball team? Playoffs?
The Mom: Ah. Well, I think the only baseball clothing we own is a blue and white NY Yankees cap. Wanna wear that?
The Dad: Yeah. Because 4th graders understand irony.

How to Become an Exceptional Teenager

I love listening to BYU Education Week Talks while I am doing things with my teen/tween daughters like folding laundry, making beds or baking cookies. 

BYU Education Week 2010 was simply fantastic. One of my very favorite talks was ”The Power of One: How to Become an Exceptional Teenager“ by Hank R Smith, who reminded me of a young John Bytheway. Brother Smith is a great storyteller and knows his gospel well, sharing both excellent anecdotes and wonderful quotes in his talk.

Take an hour to watch or listen to the talk. Consider how “Breaking up with the World” is an important decision to make. Write about how this choice supports Heavenly Father’s Plan for you and what steps you will take to accomplish the ‘break up” as a Choice and Accountability Value Experience (with prior approval from your parent or YW leader).

On Walking to the School Bus Stop

The 9 y.o.: Listen! You can hear the sound of geese. They’re flying south for the winter. Look – there they are.
The Dad: Yes, that’s right. But they’re actually flying north.
The 9 y.o.: Well, they ARE Canadian geese.

On The “Do Not Like” List

The 5 y.o.: Blech. These MnM’s taste disgusting! Add them to my ‘Do Not Like’ list. F. Y. I., my ‘Do Not Like’ list also includes: brownies, casserole, spinach, well – any green vegetable actually, chocolate ice cream, food with nuts, shrimp, salad except for tomatoes because I LOVE tomatoes…
The Mom: Well, these are milk chocolate MnM’s in Fall colors, so I’ll get the regular ones next time I’m at the store, k?
The 5 y.o.: Mmm. Ok. Get some gum too. Good gum like Bubblicious. Not that rectangle Watermelon-Trident stuff that I can’t blow bubbles with. Oh – and lollipops. And get Swedish Fish too. Skittles. Sour Patch Kids. Yeah – you need to stock up when you’re there.

On Languages

The Mom: I just learned that the Church’s General Conference is going to be translated into 92 different languages!
The Dad: Wow – I can’t even think of 92 different languages
The 13 y.o.: Well, then you have to add in American Sign Language…British Sign Language. Klingon…Piglatin….
The Mom: And sarcasm. Don’t forget sarcasm!

And Moroni was a strong and a mighty man; he was a man of a perfect understanding; yea, a man that did not delight in bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom of his country, and his brethren from bondage and slavery;

Yea, a man whose heart did swell with thanksgiving to his God, for the many privileges and blessings which he bestowed upon his people; a man who did labor exceedingly for the welfare and safety of his people.

Yea, and he was a man who was firm in the faith of Christ, and he had sworn with an oath to defend his people, his rights, and his country, and his religion, even to the loss of his blood. Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.

Behold, he was a man like unto Ammon, the son of Mosiah, yea, and even the other sons of Mosiah, yea, and also Alma and his sons, for they were all men of God.
– Alma 48

Why can’t there be more men like Captain Moroni in the world…


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